ziggy, magic and my friend, ben

You just never know what strange convergence will come about in the blink of an eye to inspire you. I’ve been totally dragging my feet for over a week on a piece whose topic is actually of great interest to me. Apparently, something different wanted to happen. And the key to life (among others) is to recognize that moment, and say YES.

Ben
My good friend Ben sent me an e-mail recently, having just read my first blog entry and wanting to share a piece of much appreciated advice. Keep your writing to a single screensworth - he said from experience - so people will read it, know it’s do-able and keep coming back. I really appreciate this advice because 1) I love Ben and I know he loves me, and 2) he’s right. I imagine a short piece would help keep me coming back, as well.  I have another friend who writes prolifically. I read every word, of course, because I want to know everything he’s thinking about but sometimes I have to plan the time for it, so I get Ben's point. And I am always so impressed with people who give me a profound nugget to take away in one or 2 paragraphs.

But here’s the deal. My struggle with writing (more accurately, not writing), has been going on for decades.  The simplest idea can be very painful and take days to express. I know that I just have to write in order to move through this, so I decided that my commitment would be to just show up and write, and keep at it till it felt good, and easy.....well, easier. It feels like a muscle that has severely atrophied from years of neglect and needs to be exercised - slowly, gently, over time. If I thought I had to write well, or make it interesting to my audience (who is my audience? I don’t even know yet), I’d probably stop before I started. I just need to get myself writing. It feels like a tender transplant that needs the gentlest of attention and encouragement while it acclimates.  I show up and keep it simple so as not to overwhelm it. I weed it - of any rules, shoulds and pesky beliefs that choke inspiration, and I water it - with permission to do what moves me when it moves me whether I’m good at it or not, and with time. The time it takes, whatever that is.
 Later I can determine the best fertilizers and location for it to thrive and become a superflower if I want but, for now, the focus is simple. This is not to say I don’t work at being succinct, sometimes compulsively, but I don’t expect to get my thoughts down to a screensworth any time soon, other than by a total act of grace.

I read somewhere you should write for a while before you blog. And I have. But working within a live container somehow gets me to show up. So be it. Whatever it takes.

Ziggy
I spent last evening watching videos of David Bowie, curious to update my previous opinion and understand the impact his death has had on so many. Asked in an interview how people like him (or Springsteen, Dylan...) just keep going, can’t stop, won’t stop, sacrifice nothing, and seem to just get better, he said:
I’m very selfish as a writer + performer ...I only write for me and I only perform for me.
If I’m not enjoying what I’m doing, I can’t meet other people’s expectations. I can’t possibly pretend to second-guess what other people want.....so, I just do.....what I want to do.

Clearly, it worked for David Bowie. He stayed so fresh and popular through so much change, crossing generations, by staying true to who he was - which meant not only doing what interested him but letting go of what didn’t anymore. In general, the industry considers that behavior commercial suicide but you can find that true-to-center attitude in successful people across all industries.
I think we are here to be who we are and to express that. It’s the work of a lifetime for many of us to rediscover the who and have the courage to step into the how. There isn’t anything else that we should be doing. We are life itself, evolving.

I totally updated my opinion of Bowie, by the way. If I knew then what I know about myself now, I would have been right there with him, reveling and joining in on such wildly creative self-expression!

Magic
So, I’ve just read Ben’s e-mail, I’m thinking about what Bowie said, and I open the book Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert, to a page where she’s talking about the success of Eat, Pray, Love and her absolute inability to have foreseen that. That her intention had never been to write a giant bestseller and she wouldn’t have known how to do that if she tried. Of her deep, lifelong conviction that “the results of my work don’t have much to do with me. I can only be in charge of producing the work itself.”

Not that EG isn’t a master of her craft, or the paragon of diligence. But she’s clear that she’s not in charge of the whole show, particularly, the response to her work. I think she and Ziggy are saying the same thing in a way, and it’s the way I’m learning to live my life.

Show up, do what inspires you. Trust the impulses. Follow through on them. Keep showing up.  Find ways to keep inspiration flowing, which doesn’t mean second-guessing, questioning or getting too attached to a plan. Keep doing what’s yours to do. Don’t exhaust yourself or confuse your offering by trying to control what happens to it then. Your part is enough.

Well, I’ve done my part for today. Thank you, Ben, for your unintended inspiration. Hopefully, you’ll still be reading this by the time I get it down to a screensworth!



Be who you are
Do what you’re here to do